But I've had to let my dancing go for now. At my house, we're enduring the final weeks of our marathon summer break, forced on us due to my kids' school constructing a brand new building that will open in ten days (but who's counting?). And we've all had enough of vacation. Even my kids have proclaimed their wishes to return to school. They want to see their friends. They're ready to start classroom learning again. And they're getting on each other's last nerve.
Hence, my current dancing hiatus. While my kids are old enough to be left alone, they no longer have the wherewithal to get along, both in my presence and even less so in my absence. If I leave them while I go dancing, I have no guarantees that I won't return home to tears, and I'm not willing to gamble like that. The places where I dance don't have childcare for kids my kids' age, so I've decided that for the last couple weeks of summer break, I'll forego my dancing routine. It's not ideal, but I'll survive.
What I didn't expect was that I'd actually thrive. Yes, I'd rather have the opportunity to go dancing, but not dancing has opened up other possibilities for me. Not only have I let go of dancing, I've also let go of having to be my children's constant schedule planner and entertainer. I've let go have having these final two weeks be "meaningful," of creating memorable moments and learning opportunities for my gifted kids. I think they feel that some kind of pressure, which I never intended to create, has lifted, and they can just laze around, be bored if they want to, and if they don't, create their own entertainment.
As well, my body seems to be responding to the rest. I have a few aches and pains that will probably diminish now that I'm taking a breather. I hope that when I can return to dancing I'll have more energy and fewer twinges throughout my body.
And last but not least, while I've devoted fewer hours to exercise and less mental energy toward managing my kids, I've actually accomplished something huge! Today I cleaned out and organized my office! I still have a ways to go, but I've made a huge dent in an area that has felt out of control to me for a long time. I've moved things around, created space for a bookcase to make its home here, and released energy-draining clutter. Amid this cleaning frenzy, I've still moved my body, and I've made pathways for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy.
So while I'm looking forward to returning to my dancing, I can say that I believe in the assertion that "There's a time to rest." I find that as a gifted person, I tend to create grand schemes for my life, and I can be somewhat rigid about making them happen. But sometimes releasing my agenda is good. In fact, sometimes restful periods can be surprisingly and ironically productive.
Oddly enough it seems you are "dancing" with it!ReplyDelete
Kathy, well said! Yes! I love this kind of dancing...the movement of creating from what is with us in each moment.ReplyDelete
RE: "There is a time for rest." I'm also reminded of the practice called "presencing" which makes room for reflection and retreat and includes letting go of what is needed for the sake of making room for what's new.
I studied piano very seriously from a very young age, and every summer I would have a long break from piano lessons. I was always amazed at how, when September came around and I started again, that I had gotten better. Never failed. Why? There is some magic in that dormant state... the soil that needs to rest and replenish, the butterfly (you taught me this one) that has to chill before he gets to fly. I would not be surprised if you up your game when you return. Looking forward to the follow up on this one.ReplyDelete
Kathy! YES!!! Thanks for the new and inspiring perspective (and for being my partner in decluttering)!ReplyDelete
Wendy! YES!!! This really is a spiritual practice--letting go to let something else come.